For most of my life, I have had a small display of meaningful symbols clustered on the floor of my bedroom. Currently, they include:

  • A gypsum statue of a kneeling woman

    looking up with hands open to the sky

  • A dinner plate trimmed in gold leaf

  • A ceramic Koru, the national symbol of New Zealand

They rest on a small woven mat from Colombia embossed with the word Lasallian in one corner, their meaning having changed with the seasons of my life.

Adsum

The statue called adsum (which means “I am here”) has reminded me of Mary’s response to the Angel’s invitation in her dream. With time and the thought of Mary’s deep love for her God (and vice versa), it became for me the feminine face of God—that is the open, unlimited, unrestricted love that God has for me.

More recently it reminds me of my own feminine side emanating from my deepest self. “I am here” is my response to people, places, things and all creation around me; to God’s presence everywhere.

I feel the pull away from the competitive, individualistic, non-contemplative world we live in to be more relational and mutually-empowering in my interactions. This feminine within me helps me shift away from the global paradigm of dominance and individualized salvation to one of collective awakening and service to all beings. In Lasallian terms, this is the deepest level of association—the emergence of the feminine within each of us and within our collective body.

Gold

If adsum is my stance in the world, then the gold-edged plate—one of the last remaining of Mom’s “good china”—is a constant reminder to me of the gold within me as well as the value and goodness in my deepest self.

Earlier in life, I believed I could build up that gold by practicing good works or traditional spiritual exercises.

It is clear now that the gold is really there due to the love and giftedness of being created a human and is not dependent on my efforts. Using that love in practice in the world is one way it can grow. We Lasallians do this together and call it Association for the Mission.

For me, gold is another way to remember to pause more often in life, simply take a deep breath and listen to God say “I love you” and then breathe out as I say “I love YOU.”   

Spiral

The Koru is a native symbol in New Zealand that I found while attending the International Symposium of Lasallian Women in Auckland. Its spiral shape reminds me of how my journey circles and gently moves toward my God center as I grow through the seasons of my life.

At the same time, I feel the centrifugal movement of being sent by that center into the world and serve with others in the Lasallian Mission.

Family

The mat upon which the symbols rest is my Lasallian family. I like being one of the 90,000 women and men of this spiritual family spread across the world. I love living with a group of eight women and men in the Bronx, NY, who support the Lasallian Mission in many areas of the city of New York.

Traditionally, residential communities such as our Bedford Park Community, where I permanently reside, have been reserved for male members of the De La Salle Christian Brothers. However, for the last 30-40 years, other Lasallians—mostly young women and men—have joined these intentional communities. Add the numerous nonresidential Lasallian communities to these and one has an exciting new way to proclaim the Lasallian Mission across the world.

Dream

Mary was visited in a dream by the archangel Gabriel one night near the beginning of our calendar. In words, he invited her to be the mother of Jesus. She first questioned, then said “yes.” Gabriel promised her the Holy Spirit and the power of the Most High. He did his job and was not seen again.

I was visited in a dream by my old friend and colleague Charlie Kitson one night in 2016. He spoke by email to me, saying:

“Step back and get the big picture. See the direction God wants. Don’t be thrown off or distracted. Review, refresh, be courageous against odds. Remember not to fall into the trap of any negativity. Our very weaknesses are our strengths.”

I had no questions. I agreed with every word. He made no mention of the Spirit or the Most High. He did his job and was not seen again . . . but they say he still has a Gmail account.

Br. Ed speaking alongside PJ Thompson of Saint Mary’s Press at Huether Lasallian Conference.

Br. Ed speaking alongside PJ Thompson of Saint Mary’s Press at Huether Lasallian Conference.

At the risk of oversimplification, like to think all of  us have a masculine and feminine side to our deepest self.

Jung would say the former is stronger in men and the latter in women but he would emphasize we all need both to relate as whole human beings to the world and to people.

Feminine characteristics held by both men and women that relate to this topic of Association are creative inspiration, empathy, value judgments beyond pure rationality, and relatedness.

Jung used the words “valuation” and “the feeling function” to describe this attitude.

The essence of association.

“The final dynamic is Belonging.  It signifies assuring cohesion among the members of the educational Mission. It is important to state here that this sense of Lasallian belonging transcends any local educational center or small circle of people known. It is an invitation to feel part of a common adventure and of a salvation history that supersedes any one project in which one may be involved.”

— 2 .2.3 Associated for the Lasallian Mission…and Act of Hope Circular #461

Ed-Head-faviconBrother Ed Phelan, FSC, 78, is currently celebrating 60 years of being a part of the Lasallian family. In October he will join many other Lasallians from across the world in Rome for two weeks of reflection on Association – Great Things are Possible.