On the first day of spring this year I was in place on the front lawn of Christian Brothers Center in Narragansett to welcome a magnificent sunrise. In the gentle breeze the trees were almost as flexible as I was in several yoga poses.
As the sky lightened up a bit my attention was diverted from the ball of fire on the horizon to the subtle whimsey full moon visible in the south sky. Before long I was thinking that I am a little like that moon in reflecting the image of God.
Quickly, despite the blazing sunrise, this moon reminded me of the darkness of night that had just passed. I thought how we are often in the dark and how we grow up disliking and fearing it—it’s when we have no idea how things are going to work out. It is the time we have to trust in fate or people, or just in the unknown. Sometimes it is simply situations that most likely will not turn out the way we want.
At other times we feel confident about what will happen but really do not know. At 35,000 feet flying at 400 mph, I often wonder if I will end up safely on the ground; I am in the dark.
From the first moment God declared “Let there be light,” scripture christened light as holy and condemned the darkness. The message seems to be, If you are in the dark you are not with God. But darkness was often the setting for humanity’s best encounters with the divine: God appeared to Abraham in the night and promised him descendents to be more numerous that the stars; the exodus from Egypt happened at night; God met Moses in the thick darkness atop Mount Sinai to hand down the Ten Commandments; and Jesus resurrected in the darkness of a cave. The disciples on the way out of town in the Emmaus story were really in the dark.
Says Former Superior General Brother Álvaro in his Song of Hope speech to the 45th General Chapter.
“I believe that the Emmaus story may help to enlighten our experience as Institute today. The two disciples are walking away, they have lost their guiding compass, the force that encouraged them, the meaning of their ministry, the union of the community that sustained them. As Brothers and as communities, we too can also lose the purpose that gives meaning to our lives, community cohesion, hope that sustains us, spirituality that nourishes us, expectations that encourage us. Nevertheless, there is the story of a dramatic change when the pilgrim who is accompanying them opens their eyes and heart in discerning the Word and in the ritual action of taking bread, blessing it, and giving it to them. It is at this moment that they recognize Jesus and re-found their lives in the risen Lord. The living Word has made his appearance in the story. Lord, stay with us.”
One of the major learnings of growing older is a deeper appreciation of darkness in my own life as well as in the life of the De La Salle Christian Brothers—they are a group whose median age continues to grow older. The men often between 60 and 80 are disappointed with the low number of young men joining the order. Their thirst for generativity is not being met. They are in the dark.
Think of our religious ancestors out in the Sinai desert for 40 years—it was a pretty dark place. This darkness makes many of our members feel we have failed in some way to do our part. We feel guilty about the lack of vocations to the brotherhood. Our ego is hurt. It is just not right, we say. The mission is suffering. If God is somehow involved, we are not very happy with Her.
In reality, we are face to face not with darkness but with
Mystery. Somehow we must accept the confusion and chaos.
We must realize that our future (if there be one) will be radically different than our past.
Remember the mystics and their dark nights; remember…
“My God, My God why have you forsaken me?”
Then shortly after, darkness covered the earth.
Many religions espouse enlightenment.
But our God often favors endarkenment.
Brother Ed Phelan FSC After a lifetime of service to families in the poorest congressional district in the USA—as teacher, principal, college administrator, and agency executive director—he is now the auxiliary provincial of his religious order. Any doubt he is in the dark?
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